Time administration and group have by no means come naturally to me. When life turned unmanageable—a continuing since my second little one arrived—I seemed to the specialists. Not as soon as did I consider listening to my very own rhythm and physique. Productiveness, I believed, was one thing to grasp, not one thing to grasp.
Then I hit a wall.
I used to be bored with feeling like this, so I ended combating my very own nature. I ended taking productiveness recommendation from individuals who don’t have ADHD.
For years, I had been attempting to contort myself into somebody I wasn’t—structured, disciplined, and neatly organized. An individual who might observe a system designed for a mind that didn’t work like mine. Why had I ever believed I might handle my time the identical method they did?
The shift was delicate however modified every little thing. I’m unstuck, not languishing, transferring forward with function. I do know I’ll get caught once more, however I additionally know this: I’m finished chasing options that had been by no means meant to work for me.
In the present day, I’m sharing what does work—how I get issues finished with out draining myself within the course of. As a result of after we work in opposition to who we’re, burnout isn’t a risk. It’s a assure.
Notes on Productiveness, Relaxation, and Worthiness
A notice on productiveness.
I outline productiveness as doing what I mentioned I’d do—for myself, for others—in a method that is smart for my life. I spent two years attempting to heal burnout by “resting,” solely to really feel worse with every passing day. Seems, relaxation isn’t simply stillness. Some sorts of relaxation are energetic, and studying to revive that modified every little thing.
A notice on relaxation.
Totally different sorts of relaxation observe completely different sorts of productiveness. Understanding what you want means understanding your limits. Making an attempt to perform like somebody with out ADHD solely pushed me farther from these indicators. ADHD brains want various kinds of relaxation—emotional, psychological, artistic, bodily, passive.
I don’t recharge by watching TV. I recharge by studying, cooking, taking lengthy walks, and practising Pilates. To outsiders, it would appear like I’m all the time going, however this type of motion restores me. Generally, organizing a junk drawer is self-care. Different instances, it’s a warning signal. After I’m mentally drained, TV helps. After I’m emotionally overwhelmed, it makes me really feel caught. Studying the distinction modified every little thing.
A notice on worthiness.
We’re taught to measure our price by what we produce. A part of my midlife journey has been rejecting that, untangling my worth from my output, and specializing in making moderately than measuring. If you happen to’re within the thick of that, this publish is probably not what you want as we speak.
Your price will not be your work. However making—creating, transferring, shaping one thing from nothing—is an expression of you. It’s life-giving. It’s confidence-building. It’s the factor that may pull you out of a spiral earlier than it takes maintain. After I began honoring my internal drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It turned the pure results of discovering my move. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every little thing.
After I began honoring my internal drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It turned the pure results of discovering my move. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every little thing.
Residing with Limitations, Each Psychological and Bodily
I’m a working mom with hobbies, a social life, and a deep appreciation for night time’s sleep and each day bodily motion. I don’t wish to give any of that up. So, I settle for that I don’t have lengthy, uninterrupted stretches for deep-focus work like I used to.
I additionally settle for that generally I don’t know if I would like relaxation or momentum. The one solution to know is by tuning into my physique, and that requires emotional regulation, which can also be exhausting to entry whenever you’re overstimulated.
My skill to entry my most “productive” self is restricted and never constant. Understanding I’m not all the time going to make the precise selection helps me discover some grace moderately than falling right into a disgrace spiral. I used to make my incapability to get issues finished imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I may give myself what I would like. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
Reaching optimum productiveness every single day is unrealistic. After I do yoga, my physique can really feel solely completely different from sooner or later to the following. Brains are like that too. There are occasions when work and life really feel like an uphill battle. Switching duties feels more durable than it ought to be. And there are seasons the place effectivity simply isn’t within the playing cards—accepting that has been key to discovering a method via.
As a result of I don’t have hours to ease into focus, I’ve needed to hack my system. In doing that, I realized three important rules that assist me get issues finished with a neurodivergent mind: simplicity, urgency, and momentum.
Right here’s how they form my each day life.
3 Rules I Observe for Improved “Productiveness”
Precept 1: Simplicity
I keep easy techniques for capturing concepts, documenting duties, and organizing all the above. The secret’s that the processes are straightforward to repeat and every little thing is straightforward to entry—nothing is ever too sophisticated. That is paramount.
I take advantage of the Notes app and Reminders app on my telephone in addition to Notion to save lots of concepts and duties. I additionally write issues down on paper as a result of I’ll by no means be a totally digital particular person. The mind processes handwriting utterly otherwise than typing. Apart from Notion, the apps on my telephone are VERY easy and straightforward to make use of.
I take advantage of the bucket system for digital recordsdata (and bodily objects in my residence), one thing I first realized about from KC Davis, creator of How you can Maintain Home Whereas Drowning. I take advantage of digital buckets to arrange recordsdata on my laptop in these classes: To-Do Lists, Writing, Enterprise Tasks, Content material Creation, Household, Our House, Studying, Finance, Psychological Well being, Cooking, Journey, Bodily Well being, and Shoppers.
Precept 2: Urgency
These of us who’re deeply conversant in procrastination comprehend it’s a nasty behavior that “works” as a result of we get issues finished as soon as we really feel the strain of time. Nevertheless, I found that after I procrastinate and rush to get every little thing finished shortly, I really feel like my work is missing as a result of I don’t have time to observe deep work and get all my concepts out. To interrupt the cycle of procrastination, I must create my very own urgency. This precept comes into play through the timer I take advantage of (extra on this under).
Precept 3: Momentum
With any motion, I’ve lengthy identified the toughest half is getting began, which is why creating momentum is so essential. As a result of transitions are so troublesome for folks with ADHD, the precept of momentum retains us going.
To create my each day momentum, I carried out a morning routine that’s pared all the way down to the fundamentals and prioritizes essentially the most difficult factor first. I rise up, brew espresso, and sit all the way down to work instantly. This creates a pure inflow of dopamine that may carry me via the day. I used to meditate and stretch earlier than attending to work, and now I do it after I end one thing that takes a number of focus. I really feel wonderful and able to deal with something after I use momentum like this.
4 Productiveness Instruments I Swear By
For a similar causes I’m a fan of utilizing pen and paper, I like bodily instruments that aren’t on my telephone. Listed here are the 4 I all the time have at my desk.
1. Keep on Monitor Planner: This planner helps me plan the main points of every week.
2. Timer: That is for practising the Pomodoro approach and for simulating and creating urgency and constraints. I’ve three of them.
3. The Brick: The Brick blocks choose apps on my telephone for a set period of time. Having a bodily instrument to restrict my digital entry is essential for me. Brick wins for its simplicity.
4. Apple Headphones: To lock in and tune out. White noise, sound bowls, EDM, rap. Doesn’t matter what it’s so long as I can’t hear what’s occurring round me.
I additionally flip to a couple choose sources and folks for recommendation on productiveness:
My Work Routine
On Sunday night time or Monday morning, I mind dump every little thing into my Keep on Monitor Planner—duties, concepts, and notes I’ve collected all through the week in my Notes and Reminders apps. Then, I take advantage of the Eisenhower Matrix to kind what’s pressing, what can wait, what may be delegated, and what’s simply noise. I hate planning, however I’ve realized that pushing via this step makes every little thing else simpler.
When it’s time to work, I take my brick and timer wherever I am going—whether or not it’s my workplace, the eating desk, or a espresso store. I placed on my headphones, decide a activity, and set a timer: 25 minutes for small duties like emails and captions, 45 minutes for deeper work like writing and design. The timer retains me from falling into perfectionism (which is simply procrastination in disguise).
I additionally set agency bodily and digital boundaries. My telephone stays out of attain, my texts are on mute, and if my workplace divider is up, my household is aware of I would like uninterrupted time. It’s not good—youngsters nonetheless stroll in—but it surely helps everybody be extra conscious about what pressing really means.
On the finish of the day, I ask myself: Do I must push via or name it an evening? If I really feel like ending my to-do record will show I “labored exhausting sufficient,” I am going to mattress. If wrapping up one final activity will assist tomorrow’s momentum, I give myself 30 extra minutes. No inflexible guidelines—simply tuning in.
I used to make my incapability to get issues finished imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I may give myself what I would like. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
The Energy of Discomfort
I not take ease as a right as a result of I understand how exhausting easy issues may be. I used to attend for the right circumstances to write down—now I jot issues down in the midst of a grocery retailer. I observe ease when it presents itself.
However discomfort is all the time there.
When large initiatives really feel overwhelming (hiya, writing a e-book), I take into consideration Phil Stutz’s string of pearls idea—progress is simply including one small motion at a time. Some pearls aren’t nice, however the level is to maintain including them. Getting began is 80% of the battle, and resistance by no means absolutely disappears.
Over time, I’ve come to understand the ache of doing exhausting issues. It’s stripped my ego from productiveness and proven me the meditative energy of merely doing. The ache of making comes from caring a lot that we’re afraid—and that’s stunning.
We don’t must boss-babe our method again to hustle tradition, however perhaps we swung too far within the different route. I do know I did. Now, I consider self-care as self-respect: How can I make decisions as we speak that honor what I care about most?
There’ll all the time be components of the method we hate, however the extra we do them, the higher we get at pushing via. And in doing so, we carry what we deeply care about to life.
Kate is the founding father of Wit & Delight. She is at present studying the way to play tennis and is eternally testing the boundaries of her artistic muscle. Observe her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.
